4. What is your favorite TV show?
Jeopardy

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
A pretty place with mountains, the beach, a lake or ocean, trees. mm :)

6. What did you have for breakfast
french toast

7. What is your favorite song?
i don't really have one.

8. What foods do you dislike?
meat.

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
hmm. the sushi place thomas took me too was really good.

10. Favorite dressing?
italian. russian.

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive?
2001 sable-tooth.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
jammies

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? lots of places.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? eh.

15. Where would you want to retire? i'm not sure.

16. Favorite time of day? i'm not sure either.

17. Where were you born? Staten Island.

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Football.

19. Who do you think will not stab you in theback?
what a question.

20. Who do you trust the most?
thomas believe it or not.

21. What is your favorite pair of shoes?
i hate shoes.

22. Are you satisfied with your life?
you can only be. and if you don't it's up to you to change it.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
both i'd say.

24. Do you have any pets?
Sadie, Fatty, Star, Kiki, Loki, Frea, The Fishtank fish, degus, monitor lizard, other lizards, bearded dragons, uh, tartantula andddd mice lots of mice. and Alby.

25. If you only had one day to live, who would you spend it with? Thomas.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A kangaroo.

27. What is your best childhood memory? wow i have a lot.

28. Are you a cat or dog person? both.

29. Are you married? negative, only 18.

30. Always wear your seat belt? always.

31. Been in a car accident? omg, i'm going to be jinxed now.

32. Any pet peeves? lots and lots.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? basil, fresh mozzeralla, and tomato sauce.

34. Favorite Flower? Lisianthus, Roses, Begonias, Dandilions, hydrengea, daisys, soooo many.. ugh.

35. Favorite ice cream? soft chocolate

Friday night was terrific.
I went up to raritan valley college with the guys and karen for the tournament, afterwards we went out to applebees.
It truely was a wonderful night and i think i was laughing pretty much the entire time.
They are prossibly the best bunch of guys i've been around in years.
It's refreshing to go out and not have to worry about anything, well you know besides getting home ever so extremely late.
There is no blabber, of whos doing what, whats doing who, and all that stupid high school shit.
It's just really nice.

My dad found out about my bud, i guess my mom told him.
he was really cool about it though, which is awesome.
He's also accepting me leaving and so on a lot more, which i think is really good for both of us.
He and i are running a fantasy football team together, and if we win tonight, we'll be in first place, not tied for it which is awesome.

Everyday, i believe in god more and more and more.
i'm not sure i believe in him anymore than i already did, but I just kind of feel closer to him.
then again, at the same time i feel closer to myself.

I'm very career and goal oriented right now at this stage in my life.
i'm an extremely hardheadded person, and i'm very determined when i want to be.
I anticipate going to college out west more and more every second.
Once this semester is over, i know i'll be able to relax and have some more leway with things.
Each day i get closer and closer to that  freedom and indipendance i've been searching for, working for and fighting for, for so long.

Personally I believe i've matured more over this past year than any before.
I mean, i can see bigger changes in me than ever before.
A lot of it is because of my envolvement in the FFA. You know Mrs. Trivette always says "we're not here to make you good state officers, we're here to make you a better person" or something a long the lines of that. And I've learned a lot this past 6 months as a state officer about how to be a better person, a more mature person, and how to adapt to the real world. A lot of my growing up has to do with just my age and chocies i've been faced with and the past and current expeirences i've had. At times i get terrified, i get so scared, i fear everything, from the classes i'm taking, to what i want to be when i'm older, to who i speak to, to what i learn. Everything i do scared me.
I think now i've realized it's nonsene to be scared. It's life, and though things might be intimidating, it's my life, my decisions, and to face it. Fear never leads to anything good. but at the same time its okay to fear, it just adds on to my charachter, i just have to face it and not let it stop me, or break me.

I'm done with being broken, or letting things get to me. I'm a very very very passionate person, but honestly i don't think things can break me anymore. A lot of the things i've been dealing with lately, have helped me cope with other things. I can get my hopes up, and i can be hert, but it doesn't faze me anymore, not even close to what it used to.

things that bother me are things like how I don't feel pretty anymore. Not at all, not in the least bit, a lot of people don't know that about me, but i know it. I don't feel like a pretty person, whether its the way i look, the clothes i'm wearing, how fat i am, the break outs on my face, the white blotchy complection of my skin, my horrible unmanageable hair, or the person i am inside, the way i speak to people, how i judge people, and so one. there is bad in the world, but more beauty than anything, i feel like a peice of coal in a gold mine. if that makes sense.

My mom and i went to a baby shower yesterday, there was a nice family,and the girl (kelly) who's having the baby is a sweet heart. while i was there i met this very old woman, i think she said she was like 82. She came over from england in 1955 because she married an american in england. She has 6 children, and is very happy even if she hasn't been to her home country in 45 years and can't go back becasue she can't fly on a plane with her oxygen tank.. Well this woman has Lung cancer. she had it in her right lung and beat it, but she now has it in her left long. She was so cheerful about it, she said "i'm not worried about it because i'm going to beat it." She had so much faith in beating this cancer at her age, while breathing through tubes. God bless that woman, she really is amazing.

I've been looking up Libras and man am i one.

Dear America,

You disappoint me greatly.
I have no faith in the citizens of this country anymore.

you really really make me sick.

 

A's in all my classes.
at first there was a mishap with comp. but thats fixed now.

i just got my grade for my bio exam, a 98 the highest grade in the class. yayy.

deans lissst.


i've decided that i really do just want to go to ferrum. i mean they'll practically pay for me to go there, and also, they have a small intamite class room evironment. better for learning than like rutgers. and then when i get my masters a Vtech, the classes will be small because they will be masters programs and most people arent into what i am. so it should be good then.



other than that. Life is alright, right now.
No i don't have any boys in my life, and i'm actually okay with it.
i have to go to indiana in about two weeks and im actually not stressed about it.
LEAD was awesome and people actually looked up to me and made me feel like a state officer for the first time ever.
Becky is moving to cali in about two months and i've just faced it and accepted it.
My sister Janelle is coming up for a week or two, with darian and the baby, and i really miss them.
I am 18 and cconfused about what i want to be and what im doing with my life but i'm okay with it.

i'm just okay with things.
i'm facing it. everything is okay.
it's life.

this is one of my fav songs: its just the music

anyway, i'm excited for tomorrow night.
even though i dont have the car tomorrow night and i have no way of getting there.